Road Trip Diaries Conclusion: Only a Month Late

    Hey guys. As most of you know, my road trip did not actually end a month late. I got home well into the night of Sunday, August 26th after a pretty epic few days, some broken headlights, way too much time in or near a Wal Mart, etc...
     And then I went back to my regular life full of homework, horses, and other things that are not blogging.
     Finally, my insomnia and my failure to replace the diary I lost in Disneyland several months ago have compelled me to finish up this series and move on to more contemporary things. Like, I don't know, the exciting revelations of GRE math. Or perhaps pomegranates. I was definitely stirred to eloquent words about pomegranates yesterday.

     Anyway...

In a Nutshell: Overview of Days 19 and 20
     I actually did start writing my California blog on time - I just didn't finish it. So here's that snippet before I move ahead. Now, close your eyes just a second, travel back in time a little bit, and voila - open them and read on.

     Radio stations are few and far between in the lonely desert land that spans southwestern Arizona and southeastern California. I managed to find one station shortly after crossing the border into California, and of course it played the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I cruised along singing Californication, finally realizing how strange and dramatic a place California really is. Good to be here, even if it is crazy southern California.

Overview of Day 19

Route: Flagstaff, AZ to Santa Barbara, CA

Miles traveled: 566 today, 6,593 total. 

Hours in car: 9.5 today, 86.5 total. 

Coffee Consumed: Caitlin: 1 cup today, 26 total. Cortney: 0 today, 5 total. Combined: 31 cups. 

Food highlight of the day: Pho at Pho Oxnard. It was a close tie between this place and our breakfast at Macys- they were equally highlight-worthy, but since Macys got the highlight yesterday the pho wins out. Caitlin and I had been craving pho for hours along the drive, and looked this place up on Yelp. The menu is huge, the clientele is largely Vietnamese, and we both devoured bowls of noodles with super spicy chile sauce and Sri Racha as we sweated and turned red and absolutely loved every minute of it. Best pho ever.

Quote of the Day: Cortney: "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" To understand this quote, it is first necessary to read this amazing comic/blog: Hyperbole and a Half. For context, "eeeeeee" is how I feel about SoCal drivers. Within minutes of one another, we saw one who ended up down a bank, and another who ended up straddling a curb. They're nuts here.

   

     We got to Santa Barbara by nightfall, (here begins my month-late writing), where we were inundated with bro-speak and hordes of drunk pedestrians making it very difficult to drive. I don't know what it is about UCSB and Isla Vista... you have to be a particular kind of person to exist here.
     We stayed with my longtime friend Kristin, and had a bonfire in her backyard with a number of other people. Kristin, relieved that nowadays I finally drink alcohol, was soon dismayed when she learned I do not drink Miller. Or Coors. Or anything of that sort. I have earned myself a permanent reputation as an alcohol snob among the people by that bonfire, because I drove off to get a bottle of wine.
     This is when the car trouble started. Utterly unmoved by cajoling and wheedling and other attempts to get me to drink cheap beer, I hopped in the car to drive to Safeway. I pulled away from the curb, and both headlights went out. Simultaneously.
     Sorry Nell Genzlinger- I just listened to your rant about this word on the Q broadcast tonight, but, really?
     So I got yelled at by some frat boys, turned on my brights, and, staring at the Google maps on my iPhone, somewhat treacherously made my way to Safeway and got there 2 minutes before they were to stop selling alcohol. As the PA system announced this, one bottle emerged before my eyes: An Argentinian Malbec.
     I was saved!!!
    And it was a great night, brospeak included. It's really funny to hear guys talk science in bro. "Dude, the otters are, like... a keystone species... yeah man." I've never heard trophic cascades and marine food chains explained in such a manner. It was an incongruity like the time I climbed a pasture fence in fishnet stockings...
     Speaking of cuddly marine life, let's move on to the final day of the road trip - a drive up the coast from Santa Barbara, up to Monterey, and finally inland to Sacramento.


Overview of Day 20
Route:  Santa Barbara, CA to Sacramento, CA via Highway 1
Miles Traveled: 415 today, 7,008 total.
Hours in Car: Lost count today due to car trouble... perhaps 9 today, making 95.5 total.
Coffee Consumed: Caitlin: 1 today,  27 total. Plus my 5: 32 total.
Food Highlight of the day(s): Even MORE Vietnamese food at a restaurant in Monterey, which I have now forgotten.
Quote of the Day: Cortney: (while darting out into street by WalMart parking lot) "Duh nuh, duhnuh duh nuh (Mission Impossible theme) duhnuh duh nuh.... VICTORY!!!"

     We left Santa Barbara early, knowing we were headlightless and had to make Sacramento by nightfall. But then... there was the beach.

  Full of cool rocks...  

Most of which Caitlin wanted to climb...

There was no way we were getting to Sacramento by nightfall.



The tide pools and elephant seals only exacerbated the problem. Far too much sunny coastline, beckoning to us to come and frolic...

Yeah, there was no way we were getting home before dark. Uh oh. 

     Now, the headlights should have been a quick fix - just go to Pep Boys or something, get the bulbs switched out, and carry on. Right? But Caitlin is apparently the do-it-yourself type. So, with her fiance on videochat on her smartphone, she poked and prodded that car for a couple hours before we realized we didn't have the right tools. We went to Target to buy tools. Fail. We went to WalMart to buy tools. Success! But we had the wrong problem - we were playing with and testing the wires, because nobody believes that two headlights would go out simultaneously. It had to be the wires...
     Nope.
     We spent 4 or 5 futile hours testing that car's wiring before finally finding an AutoZone that was still open, buying some headlight bulbs, and realizing that 5 minute endeavor plus a few minutes to screw them in was all we needed to do.
     This is why I just take my car in to the shop. But I love you anyway, Caitlin, and your do-it-yourself spirit.
     When we finally hit the road out of WalMart, Caitlin realized that we had left the registration booklet, manual, etc on top of the car. Great. We drove a loop back to find it, and, lo and behold, I somehow saw that grey book on the blacktop (perhaps it was our new shiny headlights). By this time we were utterly delirious, singing the Mission Impossible theme, and darting out into the street like inebriated ninjas.
     Needless to say, we finally made it back to Sacramento. And I finally wrote my blog.

*Insert token photo of Highway 1 here*